i drew chickens on my exam paper

I've Moved.

2009-08-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

http://kick-ed.onsugar.com

i've moved. i'm so gonna miss blogger. :D

Let it Rock.

2009-08-25T16:51:00.003+08:00

finally!
blogger healed!
and i was thinking of either going wordpress or livejournal if it doesn't work out by today.
hehe.

everybody's studying.
people's bragging to me about how well their results are.
even my bestfren is telling me about her many A2s.

honestly,
i am jealous.
but i dun give a fuck.
so wad if i fail nlvl and don't make it back.
i've planned out my routes and worse come to worse,
i dun study. go straight into the workforce.

i dun wan to study.
i dun see the point of struggling so hard when the paper is easy.
it's not olvls.
i'll study if it's olvls.
but it's nlvl.
nth great about the cert if you dun get less than 10pts.
after your olvls, use it to clean backside after shitting.

i've changed my plans.
i'll be happy to make it back to sec5.
and then i'll study.
no point sweating out like a swine now when prelims alrdy tell you to go and die.

stupid MOE had to change the scheme.
just stick to the 3pts lah.
or else you'll find some schools completely wiped out of sec5 students.

are things so bad that my mother has to sell her clothes?

Keep it coming.

2009-08-23T14:35:00.000+08:00

okay.
so we're over.
but i dunno if i shld be happy or sad.
he's a wonderful bf.
caring and thotful.
but we're both living in 2 different worlds.
so i'm glad we're over.
but kinda guilty.
and maybe a tinge of regret.

anyway.
i got a new hp.
after selling my old U900 and living a day without hp.
[it's nothing bad actually. ppl just make a fuss out of nth when it comes to hp]
the phone shop ppl were damn funny.
i asked for K800.
she complained tt it's a super super super super super old model.
but it was damn good wad.
so i asked for W890.
and she complained tt it's a super super super super old model. -.-

she took out a few dummy model.
but i thot they were too over the top.
so she took out k770.
and i was very very very happy.
most ppl would know tt i've been eyeing tt model for a very long time.

but my dad dun like the phone.
so i asked for F480.
the shop keeper nearly smacked me.
"THAT PHONE LOUSY LAH"

):

so she threw out the samsung star.
and i got very very happy :D

heheheh! :D
but the white looke so bulky.
and the black so old fashion.
so i took pink. :D

and i'm very very very happy :D

The Best Day

2009-08-19T22:02:00.001+08:00

today's olvl mother tongue result.
most of the ppl i know got B3.
heh.

should have done better for english.
cant believe it.
nvm. there's always nlvl.

geog sucks.
physics sucks even more.
aiya. fuck the whole combined subjects.
pull one down after another. -.-

should have gone night class,
but jueyin and i decided go study ourselves better.
end up i couldn't go out and stayed home to zzz.

i am bored.
should have gone out.
wanted to do many things.
but just too lazy.

-.-

shit.

F480

2009-08-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

it's damn pretty right????

my phone's fucked up.
and jueyin keeps urging me to sell.

i wanna sell too.
but my dad's an ass and thinks that selling my current phone = buying a new phone.
my phone's being a bitch.
i just wanna sell it before i cant sell it anymore.

blogger's a bigger ass.
i haven been blogging and the bloodly system choose to cock up on me.

recently i've been adicted to Taylor Swift.
the way she change clothes damn funky lah.
and i've seen her do it twice alrdy!!!!!

stupid jueyin overslept and didn't come for school.
girl! you suck lah!
MY PENCIL BOX LEHHHHH!!!!! ):

Many Many

2009-08-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

fuck man.
i first time stuck with so many major problems.
and and the worse is when they cant be solved immediately.

got money problems.
family financial problems.
handphone problems.
fren problem.
N LVL PROBLEM.

then then.
still got after nlvl, WORK problems.
how come i so young, alrdy got office problems?????

rawrs!

nlvl and work can wait till after nlvl then relax.
financial problems wait 2 years ltr then can relax.
for all i know, the issue might spike.

shit man!

did i mention boyfrn problems??
I CANT FIND THE SPARK!
HOW HOW HOW HOW???

and and.
nlvl.
study until brain dead also lan lan.
cannot go in, cannot come out.

shit man!!!

first time so pek cek until like tt.
heng i've got a good friends.
and an extra good bf.
BUT WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE SPARKS!!!
you know, the one that flys between the eyes.

li xianglian!
go commit suicide lah.

Lick the Stick.

2009-08-09T22:01:00.002+08:00

i've been mooching around the hse the whole day.
woke up at 3.30pm with nothing great to do.

yesterday was crazy.
well. to a certain extent.

i feel like studying.
but i dun feel like leh...

so i thot i'll just update my blog.
with super outdated photos.
you could tell the difference in time with the hair. :D

i look constipated. -.-
lorraine looks like mrs ess.

lol.
those with the books are yesterdays.
i'm bored.
suddenly feel like buying chocolates and munch.

piffs.

Fucked Up

2009-08-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

today's a fucked up day.
maybe i shld just learn from limp bizkit.

heh.
martin intro me this song recently.
something about it being thomas and his fave song when they were sec1.
damn funny.

anyway.
alvin, jueyin and i went to haji lane thinking about seesha.
end up, nvr bring ic.
cannot.

alvin and i kept pushing jueyin to leave.
but she die die dunwan.
end up stay there for 2 hrs.
got thirsty and bought a can of $2 coke.

stupid.

went suntec, met alvin's fren.
and walked.
walked until now then reach home luh.

damn shag.
today school also so boring.
i rather be staying in sch studying.

tmr got tuition.
shag.

Red Dates

2009-08-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

shit.
i was packing my closet today.
clearing off wad's old and nvr worn before.
so on so forth.

then i remembered that friday's be yourself day and i had no red clothes.
fuck.
so i guess i'm back to square one and would be wearing school uniform like everyday else.

today is a great day.
i managed to stay awake during maths and chinese.
kinda sad about my ss's marks and quite relaxed about my chinese.
weird right?
yeah. very.

anycase,
went to aston to collect my pay slip and -ahem- look for baby.
i mean he's there and i so happened to wanna collect my payslip.

i realised my blog's so wordy.
i suddenly feel like going to the zoo!
i wonder if ah zhou wanna go with me...
[btw, ah zhou = zhou jie lun = my baby! = hubby :) ]

blogger's being a fucker.
it doesn't allow me to change font or colour or wad nots.
i'm damn sad lah.

maybe i'll edit my post to spice up my blog ltr.
when blogger decides to love me.

Mend Hearts, Break Banks

2009-08-02T22:19:00.000+08:00

shit man.
i spend damn a lot today can.

went shopping with lorraine.
[like finally!]

damn happy.
i spend like crazy.

and i'm still looking at blogshops.
god i'm seriously crazy. :D

went to see the astons ppl.
i got free meal!!!

lalala~
jueyin's gonna call me.
i shall stop crappin now. :D

Oral Movie Mixed.

2009-07-31T22:22:00.000+08:00

GOD I HATE THAT ZHOUJIELUN!
he bloodly tricked me into watching that Haunting show.
i dun even know the title lah!
All he said was he bought the tickets alrdy and it's a damn funny show.
i suspected and warn him tt i dun watch ghost show and i'll cry.

end up.
lan lan suck thumb.
fuck lah tonight cfm cant slp.
):

lol.
Melvyn, Mitchell and Martin met ZhouJieLun today.
tt's more than half the family.

haha :D

Chinese Oral was a shitty failure.
nvm!
i think i can pass.
i read to the best of my abilities.
talked to the best of my -errr...-
nvm.

at least i tried.

Sick Beat

2009-07-30T15:06:00.003+08:00

I'm damn bored can!
there's no work,
and no one wants to play.
and that lousy zhoujielun got work.
sian D:

i'm still looking for ppl to go out with me on sat.

ever since i stopped work,
i've stopped waking up in the morning and telling my maid tt i have to settle this order for customer first then i wake up.
piff.

cant wait for nlvl to end.
OCTOBER OCTOBER! D:

i was late for sch today. D:
actually i dun mind being late anymore.
the dc area's damn comfy.
om let me off early today.

talk about biasness.

i just realised how blank and empty my calender suddenly is.
shit man.
i need to buck up on chem and maths.
and physic.
oh god physics. D:

hehe.
maybe can jio jueyin go study on sat.
*starts thinking*

i'm home so early,
with nothing to do ltr.
piff.

i suddenly wanna buy lots and lots of cosmetics and start drawing on someone's face.

boring vanessa = angry vanessa.

I WANNA WORK!

Work Work.

2009-07-26T00:37:00.005+08:00

i suddenly realised the negative impacts of working and studying.
i thot being a saturday, it's alright if i worked a bit longer on friday.
end up, i nearly fell aslp during chem tuition.
i kept struggling to keep myself awake.

tmr would be my last day at work.
i hope i wouldn't be so stressed anymore.
even miss martin, mr yeo and jimmy lim could tell something was wrong with me.
oh, did i mention mdm su?

i guess i'm overworking myself.

it's time i took my studies to a different level.
at least now i can reserve days for tuition, studies, frens and bf.
but not everything would work out perfectly fine.

all i thot about was money.
money for my mother,
money for my family,

i didn't think about studies.
study for my mother,
study for my family.

in anycase,
i realise that my life is in a mess.
physically. not emotionally.

today something funny happened at work.
some ass ordered a burgandy roast beef and a peppercorn roast beef.
he wanted to order an extra steak.

so the conversation goes...
[in chinese]

MAN: I wanna order extra.
ME: okay wad you wanna order?
MAN: steak. the most expensive one.

i was thinking.
most expensive?
fine. the celebrities beef is out of stock.
so cannot.
porterhouse very mafan. must defrost all tt.
cannot.
okay luh tenderloin.
you say wan MOST EXPENSIVE ONE mah.

so i pressed tenderloin, the doneness and side dishes.
when the price came out.

MAN: eh? why so exp one?
ME: you said most exp one mah.
MAN: too exp lah. something cheaper.
ME: okay luh.

so i gave him xtra cut.
the 4th most exp steak on our menu.

loser.

god i'm gonna miss this job.
<3

Work and Rest

2009-07-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

i didn't go to school today.
it wasn't on purpose, i just couldn't wake up.

actually i woke up.
when mum left i lay on the sofa.
and yeah, off to dreamland.
something about why is everybody smsing me weird stuff.

went to work.
i woke up patrick up.
HAHAHA!
damn funny.

Baby said we were both pigs.
i agree tt pat and i are both pigs.
but i'm a cute pig, he's an ugly pig.

hehe!

i wish you guys could have seen how horrible zhoujielun's english is.
potato salad spelled as pototo sasa.
mushroom sauce spelled as musroom sarce.

the most exact mistake would be pork chop.
spelled as pork cop.

when i asked him if he knew how to pronounce the whole menu,
he said, " yeah lah! i work here leh!"
end up leh.

burgundy roast beef, only know beef.

HAHA.
i love him lah. :D

Suffer, Die and Come Back to Life, After Oct.

2009-07-20T00:32:00.002+08:00

i'm damn shag.
i'll smell like hell if heaven's like roses.
my feet is aching.
and my eyes are drooping.

but i'm super duper happy.
:D

wendy came today,
tgt with feifei and ah ling,
she made me scream like i'm burning at the stake.

ZhouJieLun had a black face.
for a moment i thot it's cause i kept looking at jueyin's shuai ge.
when shuai ge came back again, i realised it's simply a headache tt made JayZhou emo.

i think i'm in love.

shit, hell has broken loose.
being in love is not a good thing.
i still rmb the pain of parting ways with that dog.
or was it puppy?
i cant rmb.

nvm.

he wanna bring me to malaysia.
something like going there to play.
i told him after oct.
when i return from the dead,
after 9 months of suffering and death.

:D

i love nlvl.

Confirmation

2009-07-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

today's confirmation.
kinda happy.
it was praise and worship most of the time.
and it's the last time we'll be doing stupid things tgt.
like smoking outside church with sam.
or grumbling at the void deck with brenda and kimberly.
or slping tgt with kim lin, rachael and serene during camp.
gosh i'll miss those times.
i'll even miss disturbing muscle man and making fun of gerald.
saying tt he'll be a priest in 20 years time.

i think i have some pictures to upload next week?
i dun think i'll be able to make it for class leh. ):
i miss zhoujielun. D:

i'm so slpy.
and so damn itchy. D:

Draw monkeys.

2009-07-15T00:27:00.000+08:00

ZhouJieLun said i looked like the donkey i drew for him.
-.-

today was boring.
the ltr part was slightly more interesting.
but equally boring.

i dun even know why i'm blogging.
i guess i'm just being bored silly.

did i mention that Brent Weeks is a bloodly brilliant writer?
i guess i just did. :D

i love work.
i love even more now. <3

i didn't know how i fell into this pit.
but it's not exactly that empty.
i kinda like it (:

Whirlpool

2009-07-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

i said that life's currently a whirlpool of emotions for me.
now i change it,
whirlpools are deadly, hurricanes are worse.

worse is that while i'm in the eye of the hurricane,
i see my emotions swirling around me.
safe, yet confused.

i guess life's throwing another parcel to me.
each parcel was a wonderfully wrapped present.
each present held horrors within.

but now that my defination of a wonderfully wrapped present has changed,
i dunno if this current parcel is beautiful,
or ghastly.

i like this parcel.
but would it eat away another part of me?
like all those before me.

beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
i've nvr understand that phase.

what the fuck went wrong?

Game

2009-07-11T00:41:00.002+08:00

today's oral sucked.
i'm certain i'll pass.
but score?
hmm...
big big question mark.

i am bored.
school is okay,
but somehow i can feel myself slipping.
i have a sudden great desire to write an essay.
i cant wait for nlvl.
:D

when i grow up,
i have a feeling i would be a workaholic.
even now, i'm so damn happy with my job,
i think i'm gonna continue until i get my dip.
haha!

imagine being a part-timer for 5 years.
hmm..
world record breaker.

hahah!

i'm very bored.
i wanna go shopping.

i'm in a very big whirlpool of emotions.
i wanna do this and that,
i dun wanna do this and that.
i love this and that,
i hate this and that.

dum dee dum <3

Got to get.

2009-07-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

it's weird,
yesterday i drank with 3 man over the age of 20 and the drink shop lady.
but she didn't drink.

lol,
today i complained like crazy to jueyin.
but actually i cant be bothered.

tmr's nlvl english oral.
i'm nervous, mainly because i'm suppose to be the cream of the crop.
the cream that's souring.

here's cheers to the many clorets i'll be downing.
and seeing that i'll be the first,
i wont have time to prepare myself.

die.
i'm so damn itchy for a cigg.

Bom.

2009-07-05T00:30:00.002+08:00

today is a weird day.
try drinking beer with 3 men over the age of 20,
and 2 of them have perverted mindsets,
and 1 is smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

i took the 2nd last bus home.
and is currently fucking beat.

but it cant beat friday.
i quarreled with zanariah,
and it's not for myself.
but for the sake of "justifying" my fren.

hah!
life is getting better.

miss martin actually miss me!
she asked jingwen : where's merry x'mas?

and when i finally wanted to go lit.
wling: eh lit cancel. tcher sick.

oh, did i mention?
jueyin nudged me into buying "Higher Chinese Cloze Exercise".
i better pass my chinese and not waste my $3.95.

i acutally sumerising my whole week in 1 post.
i'm struggling with coursework.
and nlvl english oral's on friday.
i better do well.

zanariah didn't let me see my results,
but i still knew what i got in the end.
not bad, could be better. :D

tmr there's work in the morning.

i'm a good daughter,
i'm damn pround of myself. :D

Speck

2009-06-30T15:18:00.002+08:00

thot i'll make a quick update before i rush to work.
i haven been blogging recently cause the moment i reach home,
i'll run off to work.

school's realy great after 1 whole month of holiday.
but nowadays, i keep thinking i'd rather work than study.
even more so when i enjoy kinda work i'm having.

today was tiring.
i've forgotten how the first weeks of sch always feel like after the holidays.
i'm seriously looking forward to the next true holidays.
although i feel that i wont make it thru to sec5,
i'm gonna try as hard as i can. :D

as you can obviously read from my previous post,
life for me [since the hols and now]
is work and study based.
it's not that difficult to juggle it all once you get the rhymth.

but right now, i'll do anything for a comfortable, 10hrs long slp on a super soft bed.

:D

Picturesque

2009-06-27T21:01:00.002+08:00

today...
i went church, after tuition.

this whole month.
i didn't do any of the above.

well done vanessa li.
Nlvl course work submission is on the 22nd july.
have you done anything?

:nope. none at all.

Father Peter said you're not ready for comfirmation and that you shld rethink your life.
Do you agree?

:yep. very very much.

Are you repairing your bits and pieces?
Do you like wad you're doing now?

:yep, i'm trying. And yep, i'm enjoying life throughly.

I'm mental.
but nvm.
life is a bliss.
i can work towards sewing those bits and pieces of my torn uniform.

cause i'm great, i'm wonderful.
[yeah right -.- like who would believe that -.-]

met lorraine for the 2nd time this whole month.
we bombed into gossips and conversation immediately.
after a short break, we began bombing again.

see!
not meeting my bestfren doesn't mean my friendship with her is broken!
it merely means we have more things to talk about.

from work to distanced acquaintances and all the way to eggs in a basket.
yummy!

blogger's fucking me up.

ERROR
Required field must not be blank

wow, like i left anything blank. -.-
typical.

2009-06-24T23:37:00.000+08:00

YO!
i'm trying to sell this pants at $27.50 [including postage]
it's free sized and grey.

please please spread the word yeah?
just email me if you're interested. :D

Samsung

2009-06-20T22:08:00.003+08:00

LORRAINE LORRAINE!
WHEN WILL WE BE GOING SENTOSA???
I WANNA WEAR MY BIKINI!
AND TURN AS RED AS A LOBSTER! <3

went out with wling.
shopped alot,
crapped alot.
therefore vanessa is now happy!

My mum called halfway and asked me to go makan with them.
so i ps-ed wling [sry arh! really really sry!]
and she went amk while i had to find my way to vivo.

mum said to meet outside A|X.
poor me got lost cause i misread her msg. D:

but i'm still very happy.
cause i bought a pants which design i've been aiming at.
and a belt.
and my adidas jacket.
and new slippers.

and and...
nth else.

i'm going to the singapore flyer tmr~
YAY!
pictures?
i guess so <3

All My Life

2009-06-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

this picture is damn outdated.
haha, i'm finally a SinX,
after playing Ragnarok since primary 4.
i've nvr passed thief stage till acRO.
haha!

life is boring.
i heard something about school holidays being extended.

i cant say i'm extremely happy.
it's like a double edged sword.
there's good and bad.
Nlvl's coming, there's a limit to LMS.
But i could spend the extra week earning money.

oh well.
kinda torn in 2 ways about it.

Joshua called a few days back.
hah! loser sprained his knee.

Father's Day

2009-06-16T20:31:00.003+08:00

HELLO!
finally i blog :D

on sunday!
since my father was somewhere in korea,
martin decided that he wanna celebrate father's day too!
as a father with no kids at all! :D

And therefore,
I give you lucky readers

5 very jaw-dropping -ahem- beauties.
they have decided to celebrate father's day with martin!
as fathers with no kids at all!

SHAFIQ!

KUANKIT!

THOMAS!

JOSEPH!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST......

MARTINNNNNNN!!

heh.
nice right?

i've been working, studying and ragnarok-ing.
for reasons tt are still unknown to me.

playing games when prilims are merely 3 weeks away.

well, i've been having fun.
i shall mug hard soon.

vanessa? mugging?
sure, no prob.

Green Tea

2009-06-11T23:21:00.003+08:00

I think i'm mad.
I've drank 2 bottles of Pokka Green Tea,
and i'm still craving for more.
Heng I'm not born with a dick,
if not i'll be the most infertile guy on earth..

Goodbye Joshua!
Have fun in NS.
haha!

went out with him today.
damn funny.
talk talk talk,
laugh laugh laugh..

didn't know how to waste time so watch movie.
Night@the museum.
damn funny show..

then went amk aston.
saw patrick and decided to go balestier instead.

really nothing to do,
so waste time luh.

piang eh, henry gave me so much side.
baked potato also damn big.
poor joshua cannot finish.

haha! loser.

slack a while then home luh.
got work tmr, not really looking forward to it.
at least jueyin's working at night.

<3

Mop the Floor

2009-06-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

Tmr there's no work.
Finally.

It's a while since i last went out.
Finally tmr,
at least i wont be spending money...

I think.

I have sudden urge for the ciggs.
Maybe, maybe not.

For the first time in 3 years and 2 times of dating.
I guess I'm going out with Moppy.

So much for saving money.

The Start of The End.

2009-06-09T00:11:00.002+08:00

Today's practical was..
well, saying it's like shit makes it sound so mild.
it's the first Nlvl exam of the year,
great start uh?
_|_

My supervisor decided that it's time to instill discipline into Aston Balestier.
ZhouJieLun was the first to kena.
HAHA!

$1 for untucked shirt.
$1 for dirty apron.
$1 for vulgarities.. [i think]

... and the list goes on.

i was clearing my hp memory,
when i chance across a few photos taken on the day before PCD concert.

so here's to the super chio bu, with the expensive buttocks.

MISS LAW! :D

lorraine's art piece is super complicating.
cant understand a single thing.
but, oh well. :D

chop chop!
i'm off to bed :D

Could have been

2009-06-07T00:01:00.002+08:00

my blog's dead.
hmm..

it's been a damn long time since i blogged eh?
there's work and all tt.
been keeping busy. :D

err..
i forgot what have i been up to.
-.-

anyway, pussycat dolls was damn fun.
lorraine dance like a stick.
jueyin and i, on each of her side, kept pulling her to dance.

i guess they lose to The Best Damn Tour by Avril cause of sound quality.
but they're crowd control damn pro.

waiting for miss law.
she damn slow.
hhaha :D

today work was a little quiet without jueyin,
too monotoned.

i was suppose to collect angel's keyboard,
but i forgot. D:
nvm! tmr tmr! :D

2009-06-05T00:43:00.001+08:00

I'm eating cup noodles infront my computer wearing my PJs.
How weird.

Messed up Practical

2009-06-03T00:23:00.003+08:00

my main purpose for blogging today is to actually throw in all my delayed and recent pics.
until i realised,
EH! i only have 3 -.-

miss oh, drinking water, tkd@regentsec

so nvm.
practical was shit.
i forgot to bring my recipe.
so too bad,
i made my broccoli soup by memory.
again, shit.

some idiot was behind me,
distracting the shit out of me.
making me throw a lump sum of salt into my soup.

finally back at work,
stressed like shit again.
HAHAH!

PUFFY PUFFY PUFFY!!! <3

Camp as a Facil.

2009-06-01T14:19:00.004+08:00

Camp overall was fun.
i realised the difference between a facil and a participant.
I took a lot of photos.
but none of them are in my hp.
so i cant upload.
hehe.

It was quite stressful also.
I dun think i'll continue Jr Cats.
but i really want to.
so i haven made up my mind.

It was difficult lah.
working under pressure,
knowing tt ur every moment is being watched by the CC1s
and that everything you say and do affects everyone there.

but i like the feeling of knowing tt you're needed by them [the participants].
it's like, all i did was get hot water for a girl cause her tummy hurts.
and the next thing you know, she's forever grateful.

in a way, i found somewhere i belong.
but i cant adapt to the proper behaviour.
and that's the part tt's really killing me.

And it's hard during the meeting/debrief after the whole day.
sitting among the senior facils.
having to share and voice out ur opinions.
i mean, the rest of the CC4's english are damn power.
and i'm struggling to keep up to their level.
cause there's only 2 of us who are having Nlvls.
the rest are IP into VJC and RJC.
and the difference between me and them are very distinguished.

But there's the joy of knowing more people and being more involved.
so i'm kinda confused.
furthermore, Paul is aware of my past mistakes.
and i think he's always aware that the chances of me repeating them is nearly 100%.

so i guess that rounds up this post.
i hope tt lorraine and jingwen score damn well for olvl.
then they dun have to repeat the subject next year.

:D

oh and i forgot to mention,
i've opened up my blog again.
i dun see the reason to keep it close anymore. :D

Too many. Too little

2009-05-29T14:58:00.003+08:00

I've so many things i wanna blog about.
i keep pushing back my posting.
now tt i've got time,
i guess i shld release the canon. :D

Company chalet was fun.
i guess, i think.

the food wasn't tt great.
but at least i made a few new frens.
HAHA! 1 of them looked like a 17year old.
end up he 22 -.-

another was damn gay,
he frighten zhoujielun away.
HAHA!

i slpt the whole day yesterday.
from 4pm to 12midnight.
woke up and brush teeth and wash face.
then slp again till 6.30am.
go sch -.-

There's suppose to be camp today..
but i asked to be allowed in tmr.
cause got meet the parents.
so i guess i'm packing tonight.

i cant believe i actually told him tt.
omg lah! i'm so brave.
[clap hand everybody!]
but hor. if his response is negative.
then xiasuay liao. D:

BAM!

2009-05-27T00:16:00.002+08:00

finally this year,
i fell down.
it's like, every year i'll fall down once.

this time i fell on my butt during work -.-
bloodly kitchen floor fucking wet lah.

yesterday tkd was kinda sad.
after lunch the rounds were kinda boring.
johnathan's damn good lah.
shaun was kinda saddening.
but no one blames him. :D

for pictures, i guess you can pop by yy's blog.
i deleted those with my face. HAHA! :D

i cant believe i left my memory card in my comp.
when haowei they all wanted to play my hp,
they asked: eh why so empty uh?
lol! i didn't even know until i checked the slot.

i've been super tired after work recently.
i dun even have time for myself.
wake up, sch, work, home, slp.
next day wake up, sch, work, home, slp.

lucky i have no bf.
HAHA! :D
i'm not even thinking about BLAH now a days.

HEHEHE :D

TKD :D

2009-05-25T20:38:00.002+08:00

hah!

a lot of things happened yesterday and today.
i kena gan by jueyin at work.
and i have the sudden urge to return to tkd.

but i'm damn tired.
so i guess i'll blog nice and long tmr.
:D

RUN BABY RUN! :D

Pay Check

2009-05-23T00:09:00.002+08:00

today is the first day of work.
i've been counting my pay,
every hour of work = MONEY!
every single cents = A RICHER VANESSA.

i have to admit,
i kinda like work.
But the irritating job of clearing chew-ed beef and having cream all over ur hands.
HAHA!

But it's fun lah.
I'm kinda looking forward to tmr's work.
the sucky part is waiting for bus to and fro work.

school was okay.
i think mr yeo nearly exploded at us for slping.
haha!
tired mah.

then mrs koh didn't appear. D:
but good also, i didn't bring her books.

no mood to study lah.
mid over alrdy..
cannot cannot!!
must study study. :D

Discover Chemistry

2009-05-21T19:01:00.002+08:00

They say love is a simple thing.
But i disagree.
If love was tt simple, i wouldn't be having the weirdest conversation with my darling jingwen now.

oh well.
live and love.
live and be loved.

vanessa says:
found someone else
vanessa says:
not so easy you know
vanessa says:
unless blah comes running to me and kneeling down on 1 knee and confessing his undying faith and love for me
vanessa says:
it's highly unlikely tt i'll find a bf so soon

haha! everytime i look at this part of our conv,
i feel like laughing my shit ass off.

work's tmr.
i'm kinda worried and stressed out.
or something along those lines.

parents and tin are leaving for korea tmr.
i didn't know. until dinner just now.
i cant care for the hse.
i got work.
at least my dinner's being taken care of.

i wish i was still with him,
then while they're away, we could be having the time of our lives.

H3

2009-05-20T00:04:00.003+08:00

Today school was okay.
only us sec4/5 were there.
E-Learning. i wish i have it too.
friday's work, i'm kinda nervous.

i nearly cried infront of jingwen today.
i guess she nearly freaked out too.
i wish i did cry.
it would have felt so damn much better.

---

H3 was overall quite nice.
i wont say it was bloody brilliant,
cause i've seen better.
but it was wonderful to see the way those guy synced their bodys.
then suddenly break apart and back again.

the only nice part was nearer to the end.
and they kept chasing each other.

i guess the fun part was hanging out with the guys from 4G.
and i know there was alot of insults thrown at my fren.
but girls, she's my friend.
i understand you guys respect me and that i'm in ur heart.
it's like sec 2 all over again. :x

deon's shirt damn chio hor.
lorraine kept pinching the butt. :D
damn funny.

and chengwee said i kept looking at blah.
BUT I WASN'T!
I SWEAR I WASN'T.

and yeah.
i privated my blog, and you changed url.
i'm not dumb you know.
who played with blogs longer uh?
you or me?

you and i, we sing the same tune.
but somehow, we cant sing in unison like the guys from H3.
i am taking good care of myself.
at least i'm not changing the chords of my song every single second.
you, on the other hand,
strings melodies that are simply impossible to comprehand.
i love you.
i doubt i'll forget you,
but at least i'm not throwing myself at any random guy and promising them my love when i know i cant keep it.

we nvr were in sync, were we?

chengwee send me home.
thanks ahgong. i love you much. :D
as a grand-daughter to her gramps.
haha! dun freak out too much about the park.
I'LL PROTECT YOU! :D

From Hard pick to Soft pick

2009-05-17T22:16:00.005+08:00

after 4 years of procrastinating,
i've decided to pick my guitar and woe my troubles away.

eh clap leh,
i've manage to make amazing grace sound like my mother's screeching.

vanessa said:
but i'm only playing a 3 cord song
[c=0][a=#575757](''-_-)-----[<>]-----(-_-'')[/a][/c] said:
lol
[c=0][a=#575757](''-_-)-----[<>]-----(-_-'')[/a][/c] said:
wake me up when september ends?haha
vanessa said:
tt was my first song

haha! no bad he quite zun.
and wake me ... ... ends maybe a 3 cord song,
but the strumming skills is for experts.

i guess my pinky hurts damn much,
cause i've manage to persuade angel to lend me her keyboard.
YAY! when i got money, i'll buy my own. :D
but for now, HEHEHEHE :D

i love you lah angel :D

sudden mad desire to make and eat apple pie. (:
i've been having sudden weird mad desires for everything lah.
from snacking on junk food all the way to running around the neighbourhood.

i am weird.
i love cat class. :D

i think i wanna keep my blog private.
i just feel like it.
maybe i'm tired.
maybe i'm stressed.
or maybe i've let too many things about me known in this blog.
emotions, mental state/health.
wad i've been doing.
wad i haven been doing.

yeah it's all because of him.
i've seen better days.
i wont bash myself up like this anymore for any guy.
it's not worth it.
no doubt i've wasted my time.

i regreted.
i regreted every fucking thing i've done with him that wasn't productive.
and yet i cherished.
i cherished every beautiful moments i spent with him.

but it's the end.
there. open life to another chapter.
a new start.

Test the Waters

2009-05-16T17:48:00.002+08:00

I have a sudden mad desire to dye my hair in multi-colours.
haha!

i love chengwee.
he's damn good at making ppl feel better.
even if joy for a short while.
i mean..

yeah wadever. Thanks gramps.

went to granny's place just now.
she go cook dunno how many chicken wings.
i only ate 1.
lousy mood lah.
thinking back, i shld have ate more.

the shirt i ordered from missyballerina's out of stock.
shit man.
why all the nice stuff all missing.
so i requested for a different colour.
i hope it's available.

lalala~
i'm so bored.
piff.

Job in the Kopitiam

2009-05-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

hmm.
today's eventful.
i had a happy morning and afternoon.
but as the day comes nearer to the end.
i think i'll like to cuddle under my pillow and wallow in tears.

but who cares?
life is precious.. :D

i think i got a job at astons.
i'm quite please about tt.
esspecially the pay.

i got no mood to type.
maybe i'll type tmr. :D

suddenly, i'm sick of smoking.

Smoking the Pipe.

2009-05-12T20:16:00.003+08:00

i gues the whole of tmr,
i'll be pumping my body with sweets and gum.

fuck -.-

for the first time in my life,
geog and chem exams were so damn relaxing.

i completed my chem paper and re-did it.
i guess it means i'll finally be reaping the frutis of my labour.
i seriously hope so,
cause i didn't study much.
and i really hope to pass chemistry at least once before Nlvls.

geog was relaxing.
only because i had more time than others.
while they spend 1.5hrs doing 2 questions,
i only did 1.
i didn't study for rivers at all.
so i decided not to shame myself and skip the entire question.

i'm so worried for physics.
i know i wont make it.
but i dun wanna pull my sciences marks down.
like was geog's gonna do to my humans.

i'm up my neck here with worries.
but at least mine aren't so major.

jiayou shiyun!
i know you can do it. :D

Blue Ink

2009-05-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

Today is a bad day.

I woke up too late to study.
Now i dun feel like studying.

I felt like puking after dinner.
And Alvin had to leave early.

The cardigan i order from hollyhoques is OUT OF STOCK.
And it's the type i've been looking for for a very long time, knitted and sibei chio.

I lost my pimple cream.
And my mother is Fucked up.

sucky.

Cause when I'm with You.

2009-05-10T19:13:00.003+08:00

went to study with lorraine today.
didn't work out.
i was too jumpy and restless.
hahah :D

so we wasted our time and decided to go amk's visual land.
play until come out tt time,
look like just bath finish.

i suddenly realised that the 1 month with you, was the longest time i had ever been with anyone. i dunno wad else is there for me to say. i couldn't salvage our r/s. but neither did i let it rot. i guess this is all. i realise now; i did my best. you were right. it was you who changed.. it wasn't my fault. no matter what happens. you still have me.
i've been waiting. but i wont wait anymore.
as much as it pains me to say this, but i still love you. i've nvr forgotten you. i highly doubt tt i would.

Trashed

2009-05-08T22:41:00.003+08:00

today is the best day i had in quite a while.
heh <3

went out with jingwen and lorraine.
waited for them at lorraine's void deck for 1hr plus..
stupid tcher lah.

anyway.
went to get my specs.
after talk a lot of cock.
after jingwen left,
lorraine and i kept playing archade.
damn fun.
mario kart, silent hill and another shooting one.
the name just slipped my mind.

anyway, i went to guardian looking for face wah at thomson plaza.
the pharmacist showed me th most exp [$30] saying tt my face very jialat,
and that's the best tt would "cure" me.

trash talker.
or so i thot.

while walking to the atm to tranfer some money,
we passed guardian [amk]
so i decided to show lorraine the product the lady tried to sell me.

again, the pharmacist saw me.
and then she tried to sell me th product.

wah piang
she's damn good at her job.
she kept throwing freebies at me.
then i totally stun,
no choice but to get the facial wash.

and i walked out of the shop armed with 3 small tubes/bottles of toner, moisturiser and pimple cream. -.-
not forgetting the $30 face wash,
that according to her, can last for 6months.

IT BETTER CAN LUH!

i think i'm hungry D:
i smoked like some chimney.
now i'm having a gentle breeze of headache.

For all that's been hurting me.

2009-05-07T21:39:00.001+08:00

Shiyun was right.
I was wrong.

i guess i understand now.
i feel like a ghost.
something ethereal.

Insignificant

2009-05-06T16:15:00.003+08:00

school's starting to get gloomy.
i wouldn't mind not going if there wasn't exams.
it's just not fun anymore. D:

he's not looking/talking to me anymore.
it's worse right?
and i thot maths was fun.
substitution was my fave method for equations.

what's wrong with my life?

it seems like i'm doing everything wrongly.
everything is wrong.
i dunno why.
i gave up studying F&N yesterday.

i wish it was the weekends.
i wanna go korea.
the weather is nice there. ):

i cant concertrate.
every exam paper makes me slp.
i even miscalculated.
1905 till now where got = 14?

i'm stupid.
i shld just quit school.
i miss dalian so damn much.
i just wanna cry it all out.
but crying makes me miss him more.
why does stupid english paper have to put a math question in?
mdm su just wants us to die. D:

i wanna cryyyyy D:

Take a Picture. It makes people happy.

2009-05-05T19:40:00.002+08:00

fuck shit cb.
i miss dalian all of a sudden. the feelings just go on and off. i cant forget him. it sucks tot he max. they say march/april are bad months. everybody's breaking up. but it seems everyone is patching this month. so why aren't i? i've quit crying in bed. i've concerntrated on something else. but the void, fuck lah. and i thot i was stronger.

Feeding Empty Stomachs

2009-05-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to get irritated.
not only does the load of studies falls unto my shouders,
it seems that the daily basic need of my currently very empty home too.
it sucks being the only girl.
and i thot the elders were suppose to take care of tt.

i mean, studies is understandable.
it's the duty of all children.
but the freaking food and money too!
if i fall, does the whole hse fall with me too?

worse is tt i am busy, every single bit of transportation means a bit of money too -.-
at i'm at my wits end balancing my finances.
i wish money grew on trees.
the world would be such a better place.

yes i'm in a bad mood.
extremely bad mood.

in anycase,
exams were fine.
chinese was the best.
reason being, i copied the question unto my foolscape and went to slp.

social studies drained my fingers of my blood.
i wrote like a maniac.
it'll be a miracle if the ess would be able to read my handwriting.
i didn't write conclusion, waste of time.
and i didn't do my source based properly.

english paper 1 tmr.
and chinese paper 2 [i wonder where i kept my dice].

hopefully both would be a breeze.
and FnN the next day, i hope i dun die.

if only nlvl was this fun!
i think i'm getting myself a niche in studying.

on the Dot.

2009-05-04T00:00:00.002+08:00

i just saved my restuarant from a dropping popularity.
i am good! :D
i mean restuarant city on facbook.

today i went out with martin.
or rather yesterday..

was suppose to go church.
but i was sick.
so i ps-ed poor gab ho and brenda.

it's only 12 and the hse's too quiet.
not used to it.
but oh well.
enjoy the peace -and maybe the freakiness of it all, while you can. :D

i'm still waiting for angel's pics.
but it seems like she, and the rest of the world, seems to be studying.
i hope i am.
cause at this rate, i dun think i'll be going sec5.
not that i want to, it's just an obligation.

i've just calculated the grand total for Le Cordon Corden Bleu.

The Patisserie Diploma in London
Minimum Payment: £ 1,500.00
Tuition: £ 11,205.00

The Grand Diplome in London
Minimum Payment: £ 1,500.00
Tuition: £ 21,617.00

note the £.
i haven't converted.
and tt's the MINIMUM PAYMENT.
not including personal and living requirements.

oh well.
my parents wont pay.
even if they could afford.
Singapore banks wont give loans for such an institude.

I wont be able to work it out.
but that time i'll be super old.

so goodmorning to such a dream i guess.
unless my father's business works out.
even then he might think i'm wasting time.

even my brothers think so too. D:

dum dee dum..
it's such a disarray..
but i wont have it other way. (:

Keep Myself.

2009-05-02T21:48:00.002+08:00

i've been trying to make myself very happy.
but it doesn't seem to work.
there's something missing.
like an empty void.

i just cant fill it.
church doesn't work.
studies doesn't work. [not tt i tried though]
frens doesn't work.
staying home and polluting myself doesn't work either.
i tried all methods.
nothing works. D:

i guess i'm overworking.
i think, tt's my only answer to all the questions.
i still miss you pup. maybe too much. tt's the prob. sry.
orchard with angel today.
didn't call val cause i wanted her to study.
midyear leh jesus.
study hard hor.
i can slack, you cant. :D

the hse's too quiet.
i dun like.
i wan mummy and all home again.
seriously weird lah. D:
i hope SK wont kena swine flu.
D:

the frays sing how to save a life.
give them tamiflu. :D

study study study

2009-05-01T14:37:00.002+08:00

it seems like the whole world i studying.
all except for me.

i cant find anybody to go out with me tmr!
damn it.
what's the whole point of parents being overseas when you're stuck at home doing nth but studying.

maybe i shld go bake a cake ltr. :D
i am truly, really, damn fucking bored lah!

woke up damn late this morning.
rush to sembawang only to be 30mins earlier.
took my stuff then slowly made my way to amk.
did some stuff.
bloody mrt ticket office so crowded.
couldn't get my concession.
then walked to ahmah's hse only to find tt she's not home.

so now i'm still there blogging.
i'm so damn bored lah D:

how how?
someone jio me out tmr leh.

smell the pig's fart

2009-04-29T17:28:00.003+08:00

before i launch myself into another 5 hrs of courseworking,
i thot i better blog in my very neglected blog. :D

all of a sudden, life's looking good.
my results are improving,
although my relationships with ppl aren't.

i think i'm abnormal,
glorifying in the abundant stress tt's about to take it's leap unto my shoulders.

life is good.
extremely good.
if you minus the part with swine flu.

see! pigs are so cute.
how could they kill?

To the corner of 1st and Amistad

2009-04-28T20:37:00.002+08:00

today is a good day.
partially bad, but overall qite okay :D

for the first time, i did well for social studies. :D
if i had more time i could have gotten extra marks D:
but oh well. :D

after sch went jueyin's hse to do coursework.
HAHA! finally she got 10 pages.
i haven completed mine.

stupid angel doesn't wanna come online.
eh girl! i wan my pictures and video.

before i do something stupid,
i better clear my mind of non-mandatory stuff.

Happy Birthday to Us :D

2009-04-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

update when i got all the photos & videos. :D

Rock-A-Bye, Baby.

2009-04-24T23:34:00.002+08:00

i feel so miserable.
i dunno why.
1 min i was so geared for lunch,
the next i totally lose my appetite.

i dun feel like talking to anyone.
like some fucking loser emo-kid.

my tummy's bloated.
i feel like burping but i cant.

even worse is when i feel like slping.
but the moment i lie on the bed,
i feel so damn active.

i think i'm gonna be sick. D:

The Beetle and The Bard

2009-04-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

today is kinda rushy.
i was half aslp in class and during tuition.
such a waste of time.
but i did complete my social studies's test.
so i guess that's a great improvement. :D

i dun feel like going to sch tmr.
how how how???

i was late for tuition.
iris, my super cute tutor was reading a book while waiting for me.
haha!

after tuition met baomu and sally. :D
went to buy my addiction and mum's bday present. :D

see the amount of presents pilling on my table?
heh!

i'm gonna study real hard for Nlvls.
hopefully they wont send me to korea.
i wanna go paris and london to study culinary skills.
why wont they let me? ):
nth's improving at home.
i'm so glad i got ahmah's hse for comfort.

Disarray

2009-04-22T19:09:00.002+08:00

Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
shit
vanessa says:
?
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
my hair is
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
BLACK
vanessa says:
LOL
vanessa says:
aww
vanessa says:
tt's sad
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
fuck.
vanessa says:
you're normal again!
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
lol
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
what u mean im normal????????
Jrockvkfan.......あなたの心配を後ろ残しなさい says:
lol!
vanessa says:
^^

being isolated from singapore didn't make bunbun lose his humor. :D

i edited a bit of my skin cause i'm in a good mood.
today's val's bday.
i wanna be the last to wish her.
end up her sister haven wish her yet -.-

VAL!
YOUR PRESENT'S IN MY ROOM.
IT'S NOT COMPLETE. BUT HECK YOU, FASTER COLLECT LEH! :D

today's english oral.
i went to mrs thomas.
i think i went out of point in conversation. D:
i suddenly wanna have the british accent.
i think it's damn cool lah. :D

lalala~
fuck you! fuck you! fuck you very very marrchhh~~~

i shld go study now.
i'm going out with angel and val on saturday.
and kim on sunday.
and friday's mother's bday.

my neck hurts. D:
i'm having sudden acute tummy aches. D:
it feels like spasms. D:

2009-04-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

Fucking Bitch.
I swear if i dun slap you tmr, my name not li xianglian.

I will be.

2009-04-20T18:33:00.002+08:00

everywhere i turn,
i see the reminance of a past.
a past that belongs to someone else.
and a past that belonged to me.

it's the woe of wad we forged.

she's sry if she let you down.
but are you sry that you made her cry?

that's the nature of human living, isn't it?

you make me happy yet you make me feel like killing you.
but is it your fault?

i highly doubt so.

it's said that people move further and further apart as they grow older.
but i disagree.
look at val, angel and me.

my class is in a mess.
my life's turned upside down.
i guess this is the way things are suppose to be.

a step towards learning.

i failed my chinese oral.
i gave it my best shot.
now it's over.
just like many other things

plonks

2009-04-19T19:33:00.003+08:00

i'm bored.
i didn't wanna blog actually.
but i'm too bored.
should have gone out with the family.
cant eve catch a wink of slp to waste my time.

life has been good. :D
there isn't anything in particular tt i'm lacking.
unless you count clothes,
which i'm lacking a lot.

lalala.
i've made 2 new close frens in cat class today!
hahah.
i've known them for 4 years.
to call them close now is just damn funny. :D

it's ironic.
i cant believe tt 1 month ago i cant wait for cat class to be over.
now i had sign up for jr cats.
in hope of continuing the tight frenships i'm begining to form.
took me so long..

i feel like puking,
but nth's coming out. D:

Chase me away, brighten the day.

2009-04-17T21:56:00.003+08:00

HELLO :D
today is a good day! :D

school,
chinese was for once, entertaining.
lit was quiet.
cause half the class were outside doing homework.
English was satisfying.
winnie and i were busy touching up the drawing and colouring like mad dogs.
tcher liked my compo. :D

it was kianloong's and zhaoxiao's bday.
got a lot of cake throwing.
so i ran from 4g to f.
hide abit lah.
then justin came in with cake all over.
ended up i had to help him wipe his hair and ears -.-

after school watched lorraine eat lunch then went home.
then went out for dinner with jueyin and alvin.

met wling and sally at hub while waiting for jueyin.

damn funny lah!
alvin's bike ran over a toothpick.
so his dad picked him up. and send me and jueyin to my bus stop.

then home. :D

yeah.
Life is worth living you know, even if it’s fraught with predicaments.

i still love you.
it's satisfying and assuring knowing tt.

Sticks and Stone

2009-04-15T18:02:00.003+08:00

hello.

i haven't been blogging.
nothing to say lah..
most of the time it's go to school, come home.
i dun even have tkd to blog about now.

maybe i should go back.
i mean, it has really been a long time since i last went trng.

a lot of ppl's bdays are coming up.
i've 4 nicely wrapped present in my room now.
haha :D

i did my ambition presentation today.
felt tt i could have done better.
but nerves lah..
oh well.
all i can say is tt it's very different from 1 month ago.

tmr going out with val :D

mdm zanariah wants to do a stupid competition.
oh well, no choice. just do my best lah. :D

lalala~

i spend physics and half of chinese slping.
adora and jueyin says i look damn pale. -.-
I've always been pale..
like ghost like tt :D

Just enjoy the Show.

2009-04-13T19:25:00.002+08:00

i want my money back,
i hate having to go shopping.
i'll lose myself and come back realising i'm broke.

D:

but it's all worth it :D
i scouted a bit for white dresses that would suit me.
which is damn fucking hard.
and i wished i brought kimberlyn.
cause then i'll know wad suits her. D:

gosh.
i hate having to shop with a particular piece in mind.
you'll nvr get it.
i swear!!

and then my oh so lovable baomu had to tempt me with another blogshop.
my wardrobe's so small, the metal bars holding the hanger's soon to fall.
i think it's time i visit ikea. :D

make room for ideas...
[eh? izzen tt Courts?]

anyway,
bought the bag i was eyeing.
the shoes were.. well.
no size.
again..

if only there were yellow elmos.. D:
lorraine complained tt we nvr talked when in bugis.
so i said..

"Shopping is a Serious Business."

hehehe :D

Spin my head right round

2009-04-12T21:30:00.002+08:00

happy birthday gab ho, and happy easter :D

woke up late at 10.21am.
suppose to be in church at 10.45.
-.- rush luh.

i waited for taxi for 15mins.
end up i called my brother to fetch me to church.
shld have done tt 15mins ago -.-

met wanling,
ate lunch and then walk around.
haha! baomu's damn cute.
see ugly weird things wanna try.

met with tommy, shuan and ltr on, seah.
quite funny lah.
didn't know seah could play the piano.
went suntec watch Shinjuku Incident.
not bad the show.
a bit bloodly only.

oh advertisment got 1 ghost show.
i freaked out and buried my face into wanling's hair.
hahah damn funny :D
i dun dare look up luh.

yesterday went to study with wanling after tuition.
lalala~
not bad leh.
vanessa li completed and did more than required for chemistry.
first time since i took up chemistry.

I suddenly need a strong boost of coffee :D

Confessions of a Butterfly

2009-04-10T20:59:00.003+08:00

"Everything you do that's wrong is stupid. It's just that you don't feel its stupidity at that point of time"

so, was i stupid?

For the crown is placed on my head feels too heavy now.

Currently, i'm blank. I don't know how i'm feeling now. Maybe because I don't want to feel less of a human. But neither do I want to feel less of who I am.

I was sad, guilty, dissappointed, miserable. I guess nothing has changed. Sometimes I look back, and I feel so pathetic and so tired. I really wished I wasn't so naive.

Up till now, I'm still sitting by my bed side praying that my HP will ring. Up till now, it hasn't rang. I guess I'm wasting time. I'm standing still with the senery flying by.

Was that you, passing me by?

It's not fair

2009-04-07T20:57:00.002+08:00

i hate it when my parents call me down to eat durians.
i love durians.
problem is, i'm allergic to them.

so it's irritating when ppl tell me.
"EH GIRL! COME DOWN EAT DURIAN!"

right.

i've tons of things to say.
but i guess i better don't.

life sucks.
fucking big time too.

you meant the world to me, you still do.

Take a Bow

2009-04-06T19:13:00.003+08:00

today is a good day.
[why i always start my post like tt i dunno]

cause i paid attention in maths,
did my letter to the church during phy.
[although i'm not suppose to]
and i went for NE learning journey.
lol. not that i wanted to.
i guess life is good when you fellow the rules.

heh.

overall i guess it was fun.
but the tour guide was insensitive.
so much for leading and guiding us.

i took many candid photos.
but most of them are horrible, so i deleted them.
i mean, it's not all the time you get to see our dear president and class sex icon scratching his neck..
right?

oh.
did i mention,
today is a good day.
cause i finally drew a donkey. :D
i forgot how to draw chicken -.-

Sec4 Alrdy. Still so Stupid.

2009-04-05T15:34:00.003+08:00

i opened my mouth and a quarter of my heart fell out.
so great, perfect, wonderful.
now my plans to take part in holy week has just gotten holier.

not tt i'm gloomy about it.
sry serene, cant go thursday to sunday with you.

Junior Cats.
i'm interested.
kim lyn's interested.
Serene's interested.
great! lets all get lost in penang tgt :D

ahmah gave me her great soya bean with ginko nut and barley recipe.
:D
when i'm free,
i shall get the great kiam chai and grilled cod recipe from auntiejenny :D
life is good when it comes to food. :D

lil. one, you're causing me so much trouble.
but mommy doesn't mind. she owes it to you after all.

i'm leaning on the church.
i've no where else to turn to.

Sports Day and The Old Ragged Cross.

2009-04-03T21:22:00.003+08:00

sports day!
i was late.
tgt with Lorraine, Jueyin, Huimin and Jason.
haha!
kena area cleaning.

bloodly hell lah!
i woke up at 5 leh..
left the hse at 5.30,
and waited for the bloodly bus till 6.11 -.-
why? cause the first bus leaves WOODLANDS at 5.30am.
fuck them.

then while 3f and 3g got 2nd and 1st,
4f and 4g got 2nd and 1st too...

from the back. :D
i know, we rock.

after area cleaning,
went home and out again.
hah! lorraine and i were wearing the same top.
lucky i decided not to wear my skirt.
if not also the same bottom.
so funny. :D

walked around orchard and bugis,
lorraine went to novena while i went to amk.
waited for kim till the church bells rang.

i think she seriously wasted her time.
cause she rushed from home to church,
then spend 30mins outside,
and went home again.

haha! :D

visited granny..
i ate all her otahs :D
her pastry's quite yummy.
with the pineapple topping.

she's teaching me soya bean with barley and ginko nuts on sun! :D
go granny! :D

To Truely Hate is to Truely Love.

2009-04-02T16:36:00.002+08:00

today is a good day.
today is a bad day.

there's no church.
it's tmr.

lalala~
sports day sports day!

why didn't i bother about geog?

April's Fool

2009-04-01T17:05:00.002+08:00

talk about april fool.
the month of march has ended.
and april has begun.
mid-years are coming,
i'm gonna start screaming.
there's geog test tmr.
somehow i dun wanna go.

be the judge of my yesterday.
cause today and onwards,
life's gonna be perfect.

yes i still love you.
but words only speaks so much.
i've quit my self-pity.

i've been thinking,
and i thot of april's fool.
who in the world came up with such a stupid day?
i fooled no one,
but in turn got fooled by everyone.

talk about it,
i've got the bestest friends in the whole world.
be in school, cat class or even primary sch.
i've spend so much time thinking of other stuff,
i'm beginning to neglect the world around me.

thanks val&angel.
lorraine&jingwen.
atikah&wanling.
kimberlyn,serene&rachael.
maybe even thaddues bang and gab ho.
[cause although i dun show, you guys did wake me up]

hey, i dun even need to thank you guys.
cause friendships dun come at a price.

i'm running out of time.
i wont have the chance to be late.

Perharps i've been a fool for too long.
i've a sudden urge to go to church.
thank god for tmr. :D
i've been way too busy.

i'm trying to get a grip on life..
my blog suddenly feel so plain.

Black Out

2009-03-30T15:47:00.003+08:00

did i mention that i went to visit ahmah on fri the 27?
then i began talking to them [granny and auntie jenny] about kids.
and how much we've all grown.
and how i would like a kid of my own when i grow up. :D

i realised how much we're all growing.
look at granny - she's popping white hairs alrdy!
at the age of 7X. that's a bit too late eh?
look at tin - he's taking his driving license.
and even chinny grew!
he's in NS.
and it was somewhere around now in sec 2 tt we were going out tgt.

oh time passes so fast..
too fast.
yesterday was 29 march.
2 months since my bday..
it felt just like yesterday.

so much changed within 2 months.
too much i guess.

and i changed tuition tcher too.
no more fennie. new one's called iris.

nlvl's soon.
up till now i still cant do my english compo.

thaddues talked to me last night, i didn't feel any much better.
i'm sry lil. one, if you were there,
i didn't give you the best,
didn't even gave you the chance.

i've moved on, if you were there,
you shld move on too.

Lunch with Lorraine.
Go home.
Complete TA for F&N.
Begin RES for F&N.
Study Geog.
Tuition [Iris]
Revise Geog.
Spare time - Begin composition.

workplan :D

Reflections

2009-03-29T17:11:00.003+08:00

wet sundays always held a reflective mood for me.
esspecially so today.

cause i had cat class.
and i had mass.
thru it all, i had my glooms.

being sandwiched between thaddues and gab ho wasn't exactly a nice idea.
but they were both nice.
if not, noisy.

imagine sitting in between,
and both are nudging you to share.
after a few failed attempts,
they both proceed to make me quit smoking.

1 threatens to tell valerie,
the other tells me the joy of trashing a cigg box.

oh if you wan me to share,
i will.
but prepare to change ur prespective of me.

all i did was think about Hosea yesterday.
i thot of how sad he was.
having a whore for a wife,
watching her run off with another.
yet is ordered to wait for her.

and i wondered how is tt song applied to me.

the next thing i knew,
i was singing Hosea in mass.
and then my brother decides to sing it in my room.

come back to me, with all your heart.
don't let love, keep us apart...

like tt would ever happen.

father peter talked about death.
and just a few moments before a voice tells me to switch on my comp and blog,
while i huddled in my bed cause a storm was blowing.
i felt like cuddling among my pillows and teddy bear.
and telling death to take me away.

i don't like today.
it's so gloomy.
i did try to make myself happy by baking.
but my cake came out burnt. D:

wonderful.
what the fuck are you trying to tell me lord?

Cause today today today today today.

2009-03-28T20:11:00.004+08:00

SHOPPING! :D

went tuition first,
just 2 weeks of not touching the textbook,
i totally forgot my balancing equation.
die liao luh Nlvl.

then met lorraine and go shopping.
hehe! bought a lot a lot of stuff.

lorraine said i now damn cao lao.
-.- ask her go die.
dum dee dum.

all thanks to tt bloodly dalian, i had to treat lorraine go dinner.
she eat like pig sia.
i see my money ebbing away D:

i bought 3 pairs of boxers for my 3 brothers.
too bad melvyn dun live with us.
if not i also buy for him.
cute cute ones okay! :D

see, where got can find such a good sister. :D

not bad leh.
can go out with lorraine till so late.
she better be thankful. :D

she took some pictures of us.
BUT I DUN WAN UPLOAD.
cause i look so old.
dun like. :D

dum dee dum! i'm bored!
tmr's church with the catclass ppl. :D

talking with lorraine while walking in orchard.
i realised i'm the flighty kind.
nvr stayed in 1 place for long.
nvr sticked to the same decision or target for long.
but i still have dreams.

i still dun think i can write my compo.
it was lost when my heart broke.

neck aches and nose's running.
i wanna be happy too.

Hosea

2009-03-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

i thot i made it, but i just cant do it.
i'm trying to heal, but i dun wan to.
somehow being so isolated and moody feels so good.
i've coated a burnt cake with sugar. it tasted so good. but now it's harming my throat.

in the end it comes to this.
i'll try. but if my heart choose to wait,
nothing can be done..
right?

right. :D

come back to me, with all your heart.
don't let love, keep us apart.
trees do bend, though straight and tall.
so must we, to other's call.

Slap the Crazy Woman's ass. (:

2009-03-27T18:06:00.005+08:00

my best girlfriend is crazy.
she took a super duper ugly photo of me,
with my pimples showing so clear and my eyes bloodshot.
[cause i slpt with my contacts on in granny's hse]
and a super gloomy looking face.

then she go print it out,
and walk around AMK central with my picture clipped to her breast pocket.
RAWRS!
CRAZY LUH SHE.
my pic so unglam then she go make me xiasuay.

hahah!
but Valerie's crazy :D
getting used to it.

CIP TODAY!
it wasn't fun, but it wasn't a waste of time either.
i grpped with jiajun, tommy, loic and nikki.
and ran around half the blk knocking on ppl's door.

they say i look like a loan shark.
BUT I'M SO INNOCENT!!!!! :D

after sch i went granny's hse to slack a bit.
while waiting for valerie. :D

fell aslp after a very fulfilling lunch.

she kept taking photos.
i look like a retard. D:

Lalala!

2009-03-26T20:59:00.002+08:00

for the first time in a very long while,
i finally feel my heart lifted.

after a night of crying,
i woke up feeling damn bloodly dazed and dizzy.
it was only while making the butter swirls tt i realised wad happen.

oh i'm so thankful.
cause if it was sooner,
i wouldn't know wad to say to him. :D

no hard feelings.
the previous post, i just vented all my anger.
but i'm glad i did it.
cause i feel so damn much better now. :D

hehe!
guess wad guess wad!!!
i won the most creative award for my elective module.
happy happy. (:

but i cut my fingers unknowingly during the presentation.
i only found out when i was throwing the lemon away.
itchy fingers had to peel open the bloodly thing.
if i didn't, i wouldn't have ran to jingwen and the sink.

HAHAHA!

dum dee dum!
mum told me to cut down on my books.
i think the worse is happening.
but i dunno how to help. D:

oh well,
Yakuza Moon's in my hands.
for now..

fuck fuck fuck

2009-03-25T22:13:00.005+08:00

i cant take it anymore.
i have to blog.
i said i wont reveal my feelings.
but i have to.
i feel like breaking down.
so badly.
just fall and wake up with you erased from my mind.
yeah, i wonder wad happen to the eraser.
how about my name in ur pencil case?
how about the donkeys i drew and placed under ur pillow?
dustbin?

i didn't know you were this kind of guy.
i told you i saw my whole world in you.
i'm not the type who expresses her feelings so outwardly.
i dun like.

you said you try to change ur temper and ur way of thinking.
but only if you can.
you said we weren't wad we were last time.
i see no diff, you chose to drift from me.
i kept pulling you back.
you said you dunno how long i'll wait.
i gave you a limit; until nlvl.
but i gave you the choice.
if you wan me to wait i will.
if you dun i'll try my best to give up.
but you cannot wait.
now i ask you.
who is waiting for who.
who is waiting for wad.
you said you cried when you thot i was going korea.
i said i'll root myself here for you.
you gave me a choice too.
i said i'll wait.
i'll wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.

i gave you my all.
day and night i think about you.
but is tt ever enough for you.

promise you i'll do well for nlvl and olvl and get a good dip.
i said i'll promise.
but i changed my mind, cause i dun wanna let you down..
call me dumb, you think you're any smarter?

yeah i dumb.
i dumb for thinking tt in the end you'll come back to me.
i dumb for thinking tt you truely love me.
i dumb for thinking tt you really really wanted me.

fuck you lah.
yesterday i was so scared,
i flip the bible twice.
they all spoke of hope.
today i walk home i see 2 blue birds.
i thot, so pretty. i so happy.
but i go home, and in my toilet i hear mitch and mum shouting at each other.

i was so scared.
i didn't know who to run to.
wad happen to the man who told me tt he would always be there for me.
wad happen to the man who told me tt he would protect me.
wad happen to the man who told me tt he wont ever let me feel vulnerable.

so. am i right to say ur heart flew on.
flew with the wind into someone else's hands.
or dragged down by some heavy current.

i understand, i understand, i understand.
you know wad?
i'm so sick of saying i understand.
CAUSE I DUN.
I REALLY REALLY DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.

wad happened to us.
wad happen to our trust.
the outmost faith i put with you.
all of a sudden,
i doubt your love for me.
tell me honestly,
do you love me?
are you sure you wan me to wait for you.

dun say idk.
cause idk too...

i love you dalian.
you said you love me too.
so tell me why.
why am i spending everynight crying for you?
wishing tt you would come back.
praying for some miracle.

you wont come back to me.
our relationship has alrdy ended.
wad i'm holding on to is merely hope.

and suddenly hope is laughing at my face.
laugh laugh laugh.
finally a man made vanessa truely cry her hearts out.

well done, you're so contradicting.
Dalian Tan.

I shot that arrow in your throat. I missed the apple.

2009-03-25T17:07:00.002+08:00

i wished i could say life is good.
i wished i could say it's getting better.

sure, it would make me happy to see him home and stop them quarreling.
but i somehow cant be bothered.

well, life is good.
but it was lacking in 1 aspect.
now it's lacking 2.

i cant wait for saturday.
at least i'll be happy.

Close your eyes, Cross your fingers, Pray for hope.

2009-03-24T17:26:00.003+08:00

i feel so tired.
after school in the toilet,
dizziness struck me with a very sharp blow.
i couldn't stand properly for a while.
it's still there.
but not tt jialat. :D
i still feel like i'm floating, the very drunken feeling.

some pictures during elective module. :D
although got this uncle-tcher kept taking nicer photos using better camera.

i didn't have anyone to give my food to,
so i gave them all to lorraine.
and she happy like bird.
just keep eating.

shiyun looked so sad.
i wished i could help her.
but i was too wrapped up in my own silly problems.
sry sry. D:
i feel like i'm neglecting you.

chem after school was a bit messy.
i had to chase for my bus 2 times in 2 days.
pathetic!

tt was my day so far.
elective module was fun.
but my chopping board drawers are infested with red ants! D:

it's hard, but i try.
iloveyou, iloveyou, iloveyou.
and i miss you damn fucking much.

Be strong. Take in all the shit they throw.

2009-03-23T22:22:00.003+08:00

i love shiyun.

vanessa said:
shiyun
vanessa said:
tell me honestly
vanessa said:
shld i wait?
vanessa said:
or give up?
SHIYUN said:
if i were you
SHIYUN said:
i will wait
SHIYUN said:
no matter how the ppl arnd say abt it
SHIYUN said:
'aye that bastard, forget him lah'
SHIYUN said:
easier said than done

and then with immediate effect,
i felt like crying.

anyway.
today was elective module.
i signed up for the photography.
but cause i'm a bloodly F&N student,
i get baking and cutlinary skills. -.-

and then poor lorraine got ps-ed.
lucky i asked atikah pei her. :D

wling said i looked tired.
jingwen said i looked restless.
lorraine said i no joy.

i say i'm perfectly fine. :D

my family's in a mess.
big mess too.
when i took an afternoon nap,
bloodly mozzy decided to bite bite me D:

bloodly fuck.

Too tired to see, Too tired to feel.

2009-03-22T15:27:00.004+08:00

hello.
yeah i'm back from camp.
and my thighs are itchy for some unknown reasons.
and somehow, i'm feeling very very tired.
but i just cant seem to fall back and relax.

i shall skip the games part.
all i shall say is tt it invulves dragging ur ass on the field.
thus leading to fbt short flaps to fly high high.

the camp left me not only physically drained,
but mentally spiritually too.

for 2 days i held back my tears.
letting them fall only when kimberlyn came and talk to me,
and during the outpouring.
i wanted to cry infront of rachael and serene too.
but it didn't come.

for tt i am happy.

during the session where we threw all our prayers out.
i kept repeating the same thing over and over again.
although the chances of such a thing happening is impossible.
i wanted to say it out.
cause at that point, my heart felt so weak.
and i didn't like tt.

who would?

day 2 was quite pleasant.
a bit boring.
but bearable.
a speaker by the name of sherlyn [sp?] spoke to us.
quite interesting to hear those stories.
when we had to go up to the cruxifics and asked God to allow us into his kingdom.
again i didn't like it,
it wasn't that i didn't wanna humble myself.
it was more of fear.

but it was then that i realised there's something i had to do.

in the night was the outpouring.
that was true fear.

when the lights dimmed and ppl started to stand up,
all it took was a few mins before ppl went "boom~"
then after a while, the wailing and crying and laughing took place.
and even more ppl were slain.
when rachael stood up,
i started to shiver.
i was really scared.
i wanted damn badly to get over and done with it.
then "boom~"
down rachael went.
damn fast leh.

so she woke and sat.
and then i decided it was time for me.

so i stand.
and brother terrance prayed over me.

he asked me is there anything troubling me.
i nodded.
something i can say?
i shook.
and he prayed.
and prayed.

and my mouth was suddenly salty.
and he said, "Lord. May those tears be tears of healing."
and i realised i was crying.

my legs were wobbly.
i was shaking and swaying.
but i wasn't slain. D:

saddening.

oh did i mention confession?
i said the worse sin i had.
and my penance was 1 hail mary.
tt was all.
ppl like kimberlyn got 1 whole rossary.
but my sin was worse than hers.
and i got 1 hail mary.

-.-

i was ready to have to do 10 rossarys or something luh!

today was normal.
debrief i was kinda sad.
i know why.

but up to now i'm still sad.
somehow, i wish camp lasted 1week D:

hey pup.
i still cant let you go.
i'll wait i guess.
wait till the cow jump over the moon.
iloveyou. and that's the best i can give you.
the card i made is for you, i told myself that if i still loved you, i'll give it to you. if not, it means i've let go.
But i'll wait. cause i prayed so damn badly and somehow, it'll be okay.
even if it's not okay i'll wait. cause you asked me to.

yum yum

2009-03-20T23:56:00.003+08:00

i am in camp.
not that i can use the com in camp,

blogger's damn long ago feature was brought to my eyes when i decided that all i wanted to do was write, write and write.
in this case, type.

in anycase.
camp will be fun.

i msged my puppy.
but i didn't know wad to tell him.

take care?
have fun?

no, he's no longer my puppy.

i'm sure he's doing all those without me hindering.

oh sure.
prayer's do open one eyes.
but i'm too scared to open up to the holy spirit.
i really really respect those who can do it.
sadly, non of them are Vanessa Li.

but i will try,
and you would read of my success [or failure] by sunday.

in anycase.
i dunno how to do this.

there are things that i wanna say.
but i dun dare say cause this is a blog.
not something private.

but i know no matter wad i say,
dearest, you wont change ur mind.

all i can say now is wad i've been saying all the time.
but it seems that it's not having any effect on you.

the end.
for now i guess.

i promised to wait till after nlvls. how many months?
i dunno..

i'm suddenly reminded of bunbun.
i wonder, will there be another dalian to take my mine off this other bun?

oh well.
till 9 oct.
but i'm betting, feelings will fade.
another girl to sweep you off ur feet.
another guy to make me think twice.

pup, i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you.
but you nvr did understand right?
you selfish dog. ):
with 1 click of the button,
you erased me from ur life.
i'll love you till the end.
i hope.
you'll still be my fren.
eventhough so many things has past us by.

2009-03-18T14:12:00.001+08:00

i'm going MIA.
anything, sms me.

till camp.

imy.
7months for you to change ur mind.
i wonder if it's enough.
or would ur feelings for me fade faster than dimming light?

White Glue

2009-03-17T16:00:00.005+08:00

you know it's so ironic.

yesterday i made a last min decision to go out.
i was to be home by 7.
i didn't argue.
too lazy and gloomy.

when i reached home my mother requested to speak to me.
so i sat there.
the appearance of a rebellious teenager being lectured by her mother.

well,
the only good thing that came from the rules were

She wont sms me and ask me whether or not i'm on my way home anymore.
She couldn't care less wad i do with my time outside. Provided i don't bring home trouble.
I must be home by 8pm during the holidays.

i had no problem with either.
i was quite glad to be release from their grip.

but after sitting in the balcony with a stick in my hand,
i realised that there was no point.
cause i've lost the only reason to stay out late.

my puppy.

sweet eh?

so i returned to my room and began doing something nobody would ever imagine me doing.
i made a card.

a birthday card. (:

and it was yellow.
cause that was exactly how i was feeling.

happy, cheerful and yet a tinge of regret and sadness.
and longing.

2009-03-16T12:16:00.003+08:00

things changed.
and all it took was a month.

is it my fault?
or is it simply his naivety.

i see, i read and all i could think is.
have i once again wasted my time on a relationship that was impossible?
again i hear myself screaming, "NO!"
i hear the resonance in my head.

sure.
you're not god.
neither am i jesus.

i cant sit and suffer while you stone me.

i said i'll wait.
but once again i'll repeat
"how long?"

they say take a mug and throw in on the floor.
then glue it back together.

you're see a broken relationship,
fixed with words and empty feelings.

put it in the fire and let the joins melt together.

you're see a broken relationship
fixed with love.

so my dear,
with time to come.
which do you wan it to be?

dun cry?
impossible.

iloveyou.
but you never seem to understand the extend of my love.

Well, I Did Say

2009-03-15T10:28:00.002+08:00

i know i said i wont be blogging till i have nice stories.
but i'm kena flustered and nervous.

and for reasons i dunno why.

i'm bored
it's the holidays and i'm doing anything at all.
other than sit down grow fat and keep shitting.

and my menses.
it's preventing me from doing anything.
i didn't even go for cat class today.

oh and now i owe lorraine dinner on wed cause she's helping me deliver some stuff.
after a nice long conv that contained a lot of cursing and swearing..

god save the queen.

i'm bored.
does popular have nice story books?
cause i'm kinda lazy to go all the way to kinokuniya.
and anyway,
my card is with tintin.

you know i'm just typing and typing and typing.
it's all just random stuff.
and i'm just so damn plain bored lah.
bored bored bored bored..

and yeah,
i'm losing my iron grip on my self control.
or is it steel grip?

wait,
which is stronger..
iron or steel?

Go Too Deep & You'll Fall

2009-03-14T16:59:00.003+08:00

hello.
once again i'm on a verge.
i think i'll stop blogging for awhile,
until i have nice stories to tell.

2am in the morning,
and i felt like i drank too much again.
i keep spinning.
and the sudden urge for the cigg became too strong.

but i lay in bed,
i see things which are there yet not there.
i screamed to him.
but the father almighty didn't answer.

but in the morning did i realise.
no, i dun need his answer.
i need his help.

puppy i'll wait.
it maybe be futile, it maybe fruitless.
but you asked me to wait.
i'll wait.
i'll wait and wait and wait.
i'll wait until you say you're ready.

although i dun understand,
it's alright right?
you'll come back right?

you matter to me.
although it's not enough,
i love you.

i cut my hair today.
i think i'm okay.

Speechless

2009-03-13T17:56:00.002+08:00

i've just completed my ecareer thing.
they come up with the stupidest jobs.

Kindergarten Principals, full-time school councillor, Gallery / Museum Managers.
argh, get real lah!

i failed everything but maths and english.
mdm sue was so damn dissappointed.
i guess i was too.
i wanted to cry.
why didn't i just burst out?
i suddenly just wished i did.

i guess mdm sue wanna meet my papers.
top student for sec 1's now a piece of trash.
talk about going higher nitec.
talk about being a secondary school tcher.

might as well go to hell.

i made dalian angry again.
how on earth do i manage making him angry everytime we meet?
i'm lousy lah!
everything was great.
but i had to ruin the whole shit.

i hate it lah!
everything's going from perfect to good to rubbish.

go slap yourself lah vanessa li.

Speech Day

2009-03-12T21:41:00.002+08:00

i swear,
i'll nvr get top for anything if it means having to sit thru speech day again!

no wonder it's called speech day.
from start to end,
it's all filled with speeches.

oh shit!
next year graduating classes need to attend speech day!
x.x

nvm.
i dun think i'm going sec 5 anyway.

yay!
i'm finally meeting my pet puppy tmr!
i wonder if he had grown.. :D

fucking tired.
i'm waiting for my hair to dry.
and i'm having a majorly bad headache.

but the prospect of seeing the pup tmr seems to lighten my mood.
tsk!

tmr sch starts at 9.20
:D :D :D

must eat chocolates!

2009-03-11T19:15:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS A FUNNY DAY!

i took this pic yesterday.
pabbles and yogi fought the day before.
and i think pabby was sent to the vet.
HAHA!

a bit disgusting though.

now i must refrain from stroking her "forehead"

anyway,
while having an ss lecture just now,
an msn pop-up suddenly appear.

she didn't notice it cause she was facing the class.
but we saw it.

"i love you and onli u is online."

damn cheesy lah!
i kept laughing.

oh and earlier on,
during maths,
i saw someone dancing at the water cooler.
again i just kept laughing.

mr yeo thot i was mentally unsound.

speech day rehearsal was cancelled. :D
SO I WENT OUT WITH JINGWEN AND LORRAINE!!!!

:D

lalala~

a weird phonecall

2009-03-10T19:06:00.002+08:00

i've finally changed my skin.
yays!

i think i'll further edit when i have the time :D

but for now,
bear with being blank.

:D

today is a weird day.
there's good and there's bad.

spend the whole after recess till end of sch periods gossiping.
no tchers leh!!

hehe!

the class comm wkshop was okay lah.
a bit boring.
but has its fun.

after tt when to look at my tkd. :D
hehe!
they suffering.
then i stand there laugh.

the chinese dancers kept shouting shaun's name. -.-
so i told amanda i'll shout her name during speech day! :D

see!
i love my tkd-ers so much. :D

contradicting

2009-03-08T20:20:00.002+08:00

i'm hurt.
he said no,
but i want yes.

i feel like tearing.

but i know i haven been a good girlfren.
i wan to be good.
but i dunno how to be good.

right now,
i wanna hug you and cry the shit out of my face.
let me hug you.
please?

so much for flag day...

2009-03-07T19:21:00.002+08:00

INTRODUCING THE VERY FUNKY NEW TOOTY HAIRSTYLE OF MISS LORRAINE NG!

CHIO BO??????

haha!
okay lah. i think she's still very pretty :D

FLAG DAY!

woke up nice and early.
and received an sms from a very panicky ivy.

"kunmiao haven walk up yet leh!!!"

went to bath and shit,
and proceed to wake her up.

"huh? 8 o'clock alrdy meh?"

felt like laughing my ass off.
but imagine you're a construction site worker,
and you're looking down at a girl playing with her dogs and laughing like nobody business.

well, it is nobody's business :D

anyway.
went with kahyun instead of ivy and kunmiao.
kahyun didn't have amanda.
so i pei-ed her.

waited for pup to come.
got v irritated cause it was 9 and he didn't sms.

walk to mrt.
then walk around the place.
then go subway for brunch. :D
slack there for a while.
then johanna and jiajing came. :D

so we continue to collect our money.
tin refused to be full D:

after awhile i went to look for pup.
[after splitting parent's money between the 4 of us]
heheh!

after tt was damn funny.
i see the way pup and his frens collected ppl's money.
damn cute.

at 12!
rushed home to bath and meet my lorraine ng.

JURONG POINT!

after all the excitement lorraine caused me when she said jurong point was good.
every shop i went didn't have my size. -.-
EVEN THE SHOES DID'N'T HAVE MY SIZE.
AND IT WAS FUCKING PRETTY.
BUT MORE IMPTANTLY,
IT WAS YELLOW!
BRIGHT CHEERFUL YELLOW! D:

i wan cry lah!
wasted my time D:
i rather go bugis or orchad.
even j8 would be better.

but but!
the train ride was damn long.
which gave me and lorraine a lot of time to laugh like monkeys.
hehehehe!

come home and walk around with dinner in my hands.
martin begged me to cook more often.
since i stopped entering the kitchen ever since tt incident.

i'm trying to bring ah mah's kitchen to 162 springside ave.
i think it's time i took lessons from the pro.

hehehe!
ILOVEYOUAHTER. :D
i love babi too :D

fart and smell

2009-03-06T21:14:00.002+08:00

FLAG DAY'S TMR~
FLAG DAY'S TMR~

hehe!
i'm going with pup!
so happy~

met pup today!
went jueyin's hse to save lorraine's bag.

pup very bad.
he go bath in her hse.
then make me cook maggi for him.
then slp.

make me wash the dishes.

then he wake up le go kop an apple -.-

haha! but he very funny.
he go play with the dog.
play play play.

until he looked up and saw me standing there he screamed.
HAHA!

i see till wan laugh :D

dum dee dum!
expect pictures tmr i guess :D

melted ice cream.

2009-03-05T19:04:00.003+08:00

我爱的人 ,她名叫 Lorraine NG.

Back to the main topic.

i forgot to tell miss martins merry xmas today.
D:
oh well, there's always tmr.
:D
i bet she loves me. i'm always blessing her.

i miss pup.

i met val today!
like finally.
she made me do something seriously ridicules.
and made me spend $8 on something not quite needed.

but it was worth it.
she laughed like a maniac after.

i went to see doc cheah today.
mum thinks i did something wrong cause i wanted to push forward my mense.
it's just menses.
how wrong can things get?
suffer and die from haemorrhage?

Ah mah and Auntie Jenny had a good laugh.
while Val frown and said.
"your mum's too much."

i was damn tempted to reply her.
"she thinks i'm a whore."
[perharps i'm reading too much about Pan Yu Liang]

i miss pup.

Val said puppy looks better than Youli.
i laughed my ass off.
seriously!
i didn't know how to reply tt.
i agreed, but comparing Pup to Youli is simply too hilarious.
it's like comparing a $500 CK high heels to a pair of market slippers.
except, the high heel more manly lah.
then the slippers more ah nia.

I wanna eat you cha kueh with soya bean milk.
i wanna deep it in like wad i did in HK at primary 2.

oh well.
gone are the days when my dad would knock on my room door.
"GIRL! WE GO EAT BREAKFAST! WAN FOLLOW???"

play the game, play it well.

2009-03-04T18:18:00.003+08:00

i wan pup.

it's been a damn fucking long time since i've felt the desperate need to pull someone close and hug.
but i didn't do it.

why?
i wondered over and over again.
i should have done it.

then i wont ever need to see him walk away with his sch pants rolled up.
like a small kid from primary sch.

then i wouldn't feel the magnetic like force push me away from him.
maybe if i didn't board the bus.
things would be different.

yeah.
but nothing changed has it?
he loves me still.
and i love him too.

and pup being pup,
was joyful enough to come to my speech day,
replacing my parents with his presents.

*but only with the lure of food*

i hope mdm su allows. :D

you shld have seen the look of pup's face when he took the eraser.
PRICELESS :D